Random Thoughts….

ek diya unke naam ka jala kar ghar se niklte hain,
suraj   ki taraf  dekh  kar hum us  per  haste  hain,
andhero main ghoom  kar jab dil  bhar  jaata  hai
shaam  ko  diye  se mil kar  jagmaga   utthte hain

aazmaishye   hosalo ki   har dum  her  roz  karte  hain,
zindagi liye jaate hain unke paas aur marke laute hain
intezar hai uss din ka jab zinda laute unke aashiyane se,
zindagi ho zinda aur maut ki maut yahi dua mangte hain

kabhi  kabhi  sapne  main ek  shaks  dikh  jata  hai,
chehra dhoondhla aur haatho se mujhe bulata hai,
subha utt kar khwabo ki duniya per muskurata huin
per  ye  dil kai dino tak  un  haatho  ko  talashta  hai

kohre  se  aavaje  to  aati hai wo dikhai  nahi  deta,
marz to sabko bataya phir bhi koi dava nahi deta,
surat to yaad hai mujhe per aakhe khaali hai ab, isliye
un aankho ke intzar main in aankho ko sone nahi deta

Mind

Mind, Oh mind, my mind.

Why you are not in my control. You are mine but why am not your’s.

Just shut up and listen to me, I am your master and now you have to obey me.

Please don’t tell me, what i don’t want. Be in my control and don’t act smart.

When you had pain, i given you the cure, now i am in pain, say to me ‘relax’.

This time i want to throw you out, but its bad i can’t do that.

Can i replace you with a gud one, as am pissed off.

we were friends but you cheated me too silently.

please go away to never show up.

time ago i was small and you were good, but now its heart which better then you.

‘i am free to do anything’ what the hell you said to me.

baby come to me, i ‘ll kick you ur butt, ‘ll teach you a lesson you never forgot.

Please be like as you were earlier, we are the best buddies as ppl said.

It was you who gave me the thoughts, i trusted you but now it’s past.

I am leaving as i found, don’t come to me as i already discarded my mind.

Why he is An average?

An average child, average in sports average in studies. Grown up with same lyrics, everything starts with average. Average scholar, average son, average brother, average employee and average husband. All these average makes an average common person. This average common man thought so many things as a student, as a son, as a brother, as a husband as, as an employee, and without achieving those moved on. Why? Because his famille’s average social life is more importent than his extraordinary thoughts, and dreams. He could have been a some one else but his family will be in same condition as its today or not no one knows and his family never wanted to take this risk. He could have studied further and achieved something un-average but his family never wanted this, whatever was expected he did. If this common man wanted to do anything extraordinary thing he had so many thing to consider that’s why he is still an average common person.

Nanaji – A Legend

“PRAYAGWASHI” aur “FATTAH SINGH” ye dono kahain phir se mere kahne per nanaji ne sunai. Ye do kahaniya mujhe sabse jyada pasand hain sab bachpan ki kahaniyo main se. Ye wo stories hain jo main ne anginat baar suni hoingi aur mujhe sirf nanaji se he ye acchi lagti hain. Wo jis tarah se characters aur scene ka description dete hain,1 wo aur koi nahi de sakta.

Kahani sunne ke baad jab main leta, phir ek karwat le kar sachne laga ki “Jaisa main ne suna hai auro se nanaji ne apni zindagi tanashaho jaisi guzri hai aur unhone wo sab kiya hai jo aaj ek powerfull, rich and most ambicous person karta hai ya karna chahata hai. Unke acche dino main, unki ek aavaj per poora gao kaa aa jana, Ghar ke pandit ko ready to hearvest phasal daan kar dena, apne dosto ko home made milk products bhejtna, Aur sabse badi cheez unki laathi. Unki laadi ek credit card ki tarah thi, koi bhi insaan unki laathi dikha kar kisi se kuch bhi la sakta tha jo ek credit ki tarah hota tha. All these shows his personality, his fame, his reputation.”

Agle din shaam ko phir se baatin suru hui. main nanaji se baat karte karte unke alag alag experiences sun raha tha. Kaise wo jail main unke dost ko milne gaye to ek bunch of bannan apne shoulder per rakh kar le gaye, ya ganga nahte waqt pandit se ladai ki ya kuch time pahle tak unko hanuman chalish, durga chalish, shiv chalish  sab kaise unko yaad tha. Ager main sochuin ki nanaji ye sab kuch kyoin karte the to koi answer nahi aata sirf ek baat dikhayi deti hai ki unke kuch rules the jo wo her haal main follow karte the aur apni baat aur dosto ke liye kuch bhi karte the. Shayad issi wajah se unke childrens ko utne asserts nahi mile jitne wo expect kar rahe the kyoin ki baccho ke bade hone tak nanaji ke paas 50% asserts he bache the aur 50% dosto and aur logo ko de diye the.  Phir main ne poocha “accha nanaji, aapki itni umer ho gayi hai kuch aisa hai abhi jo aap sochte ho ki iss life main nahi kar paye?” Unhone ne bina soche apne haath jode aur upper utthaya aur bolo “bas ek he tamanna hai ki iss akhiri waqt main bhole bhandari aaram se upper ka rasta dikhaye ediya na ragdaye mujhse.”

Like all time, Iss baar bhi main 2 weeks ke liye apne ghar leaves per aaaya tha. So 1 week apne relatives ke liye nikal kar chal diya apni jade(roots) dekhne ke liye. Bas 3 places he mujhe visit karne hote hain. Mere Grandparents, mere nanaji ka place aur mausiji ka ghar. Mera grandparents ke village name “Ataria” i like it most becaue its only the place i see which gives me ultimate peace beacuse jab bhi main villeage main ghoomta huin to yaad aane lagta hai ki  main bhi in galiyo main he bhagte, girte, utthte bada hua huin then i feel a unknown but very strong bond wih each and everything around me. Lakin cousines and uncle, aunts bahut saare hain so crowd jaisa feel hone laga hai ab. Mere nanaji ka place “Kamlapur”, a small kasbe jaisa hai. I like this place most of all. Reason ye mere nana aur nani ka ghar hai so i am most special guest for them. Jab bhi jaata huin to aur koi dhyaan de ya na de nana nani hamesh mere her aaram ka dhyaan rahte hain. 3 mama hai mere per sab just opposit nature ke. I like middle one mamaji most i dont know why but i think unki soch he sabse sahi lagti hai mujhe. Aur nanaji unki umar bahut ho gayi hai, he even cant see and recognise faces. Sometime i use to think, if somehow main nanaji ke life experiences jaan sauin aur unko apni life main use kar sakuin to my life will change and i can know many morething beyond my own life. Kuch aisi book mujhe mila jaye jisme nanaji ki poori life experiences ho aur jab bhi main kabhi kahin confuse huin i ll just go back n get my answer in that book.

And as usual, baaki sab baation ke saath wo apne teeno beto ko galiya dete rahe, batate rahe kaise unki life kati aur inki kaisi kat rahi hai. Nanaji ko aaj kal money problem bhi ho rahi hai agar kabhi kuch khane ka man karta hai to wo affort nahi kar paate hain. Mujhe aisa laga unki and aurlogo ki baatoin se. So when i was about to leave, 1000/- main ne nanaji ko dete hue kahain “nanaji ye lijiye kuch paise mummy ne dene ko bola tha mujhe” nanaji ne kaha “Guddu, ab aise bhi halat nahi aaye ki betiyo se kuch liya jaye ager dena chahate ho to apne naam se do mummy ke naam se to nahi luinga.” I was so amazed that iss insaan ke paas kuch bhi nahi hai phir bhi ego is too high. I am very big fan of nanaji, jaisi life aur personality unki thi or hai kisi ki nahi dekhi main ne.

My Nanaji died on 26, July 10.

The Alchemy of Desire – Tarun J Tejpal

“Love is not the greatest glue between two people, Sex is.”

Every line is so brilliantly written that it could be read twice and ruminated later on. The author Tarun J Tejpal, editor of Tehelka, a national newspaper has delivered an inventive genius. Story holden me so strong that i never realized how much time i am giving to this book. Beautifully written, compelling, lyrical. Fascinating characters and superb evocation of India and its people. A truly common man’s story narrated by normal person. All ups n down of life, happiness, irritation, anger, sweetness. There are two characters mainly, one is Fizz, who is sensible, caring, understanding and adorable character and her nameless hubby a writer, reader, moody, caring and a situation driven man.

Story is all about a couple who loved then married, moved from one city to another, fulfilled few dreams then something happened with them and story took a drastic turn.  In turn-of-the-millennium India, a penniless would-be writer halts work on his novel only to feed his ceaseless desire for his beautiful wife. Then a chance occurrence moves the lovers to a sprawling old house in a mist-shrouded spur of the lower Himalayas, where a set of diaries written by a glamorous American adventuress is uncovered during renovations. Her words irresistibly draw the writer away from his beloved, thrusting him through the hole of history into another world and time, revealing dark secrets and overturning all certainties.

The novel’s strong point is definitely the first half, dotted with splendid portions including certain conversations between the narrator and Fizz, some with the servant of the acquired house over chai and the descriptions of certain other minimal characters. The disentanglement of the marriage of the narrator and his wife, their sexual escapades and insecurities culminating into their understandings is remarkably well done. The second half picks up and unusually merges with the pace of the first half, much like a progression of sorts.

Whatever. The main character was a jerk, so obsessed with the past that he ruined the most meaningful relationship of his life. I hated him. I liked the details of the book, though, and it was beautifully written.Inventive, playful, heartbreaking, brimming with ideas and memorable characters, The Alchemy of Desire is a major literary work by one of the most significant new voices of a generation.

“Sex is not the greatest glue between two people, Love is.”

Mujhe Se,

sunke ek naam chehra kisi ka yaad aaya phir se,
aadhi raat ki barsaat ka kuch to rabd hai mujh se,

baadlo ne achanak na jane kya tasvir bana di,
kuch  to  tha  mera  jo  ab  zuda hai  mujh se,

aankhoin   ko   kuch   rang   dikhte   he   nahi   ab,
wo nazrein naraz hain kuch to galat hua hai mujh se,

aankho  ki  baatain, chandni ki tandak kya hai,
dohrayi  ye baate  jab  jab wo mili hai mujh se,

ghar   lautna  jaroori hai  jaane se kyoinki,
kisi ke khwaab kisi ki duniya hai mujh se,

Armaa, Khwahise, Kwaab…etc

अरमा जो भी थे, कुछ पूरे हुए कुछ अधूरे रह गए,

आज फिर चादी  का न मिला, मिटटी के प्याले से ही  पी गए!!

 

हसी थी, सुकू था फिर एक ख्वाब आया मेहमान बन कर,

अब खुशिया हुई कम और ख्वाहिसों के दायरे बढ़ने लग गए!!

 

खुश थे कारवा मैं, अपने साथ हो तो नीद गहरी आती है,

फिर कुछ दिखा, पाने की चाह अब कारवा छोड़ अकेले उड़ने लग गए!!

 

काश सीरत भी दिख जाया करती सूरत की तरह इंसान को,
रेत की चमक पानी न बनी, अफ़सोस हुआ फिर आगे बढ़ गए !!

 

पूर्णिमा से चाँद, प्याले से  मय नाप लेते हैं, पर
कोई बताये, कैसे जाने की कब हम पूरा प्यार पा गए!!

 

अनजाने शहर  मैं अकेले चलते रहना कभी ख़तम नहीं होगा,
कोई तो हाथ पकडे, रोके, कहे अब आराम कर लो तुम थक गए!!